


Get What You Deserve

by distantattraction



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, M/M, Self-Destruction, being sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:48:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24151594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/distantattraction/pseuds/distantattraction
Summary: Sylvain cheats on Felix for all the worst, most self-destructive reasons.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 15
Kudos: 129
Collections: FE3H Kink Meme





	Get What You Deserve

**Author's Note:**

> You are never gonna get everything you want in this world. First things first, [ get what you deserve. ](https://youtu.be/NOAeVINQ6Hw)
> 
> Written for the [kinkmeme.](https://3houseskinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/476.html?thread=495068)

They had only been together for about a month when Felix first started to worry that Sylvain would cheat on him. It's a heavy secret that Felix keeps locked away in a special cage of guilt and shame. Sylvain basically promised his undying love when they got together. Isn't it cruel to doubt him after that?

But Sylvain is still Sylvain. He still flirts casually with everyone he meets, even if he never lets it go anywhere. He still dresses to show off his best features: shirts stretched tightly across his chest, sleeves rolled up to show his forearms, smile on his face and dimples in his cheeks. Charismatic asshole.

He picked Felix, though. Felix is the one who gets to ride his dick every night until they pass out from overexertion. Felix is the one who gets to eat breakfast Sylvain cooked the next morning. Felix is the one who gets to come home to Sylvain every day. And he loves coming home to Sylvain.

Which is why it hurts so, __so__ much when Felix opens the door to their bedroom, and Sylvain is inside. Not alone. Not clothed. Balls deep in another man's ass.

The world comes to a standstill as Felix takes in the scene. No one and nothing moves, not even the air in Felix's lungs. Then he raises his arm, points to the door, and speaks.

" _ _Get out.__ " Felix doesn't shout, but he doesn't need to. 

The bed is a flurry of movement. The stranger leaps off the bed to pick his clothes up off the floor. He tugs only his boxers back on before making a break for the door. Felix doesn't move for him. He remains still, a sentinel standing guard. Sylvain doesn't move either. He sits on the bed and throws the blankets over his lap. He isn't hard anymore, Felix notices. Having your boyfriend walk in on you cheating must be a real boner killer.

Felix takes three stony steps toward him. His jaw trembles. His whole body vibrates with rage.

"Is this the first time?" he asks.

Shame keeps Sylvain's eyes downcast. "Yeah."

Felix traces his teeth with his tongue. They feel sharp. He feels sharp. "In our bed? In our home, in the bed that we share?"

"It was convenient."

Felix scoffs. "Did you have fun?"

"No." Sylvain's answers are curt. Emotionless. Felix, on the other hand, explodes.

"Why couldn't it have been a woman?" He isn't proud of this question, he knows it's fucked up, but Felix has always hoped that if Sylvain ever cheated on him, it would be with a cis woman. He hoped that if Sylvain cheated, it would have been because he missed pussy too much. Because he craved something Felix didn't have and couldn't give him.

Sylvain's answer is so much worse. "I picked him because he didn't look like you."

"Because he didn't--?" Felix's eyes go wide with rage. "Do you have any idea what you just said to me? What that __means?__ "

"No, it's not-- I didn't mean I don't like the way you look." Sylvain's silver tongue fumbles with the words. "I-- He couldn't look like you because if he did, I'd think of you, and then I wouldn't be able to go through with it."

Felix punches him square in the face, and Sylvain just lets him. It lays him out. His fist makes a satisfying thud against Sylvain's jaw, except Felix doesn't feel satisfied. Sylvain sits up carefully. He doesn't touch his face, even though it's already turning red from the impact.

"You can hit me again if you need to," he says.

"I don't need your permission," Felix spits. "And I don't want your approval. Tell me why you cheated on me."

Sylvain frowns. "We don't have to make this a whole event. You can just dump me."

"Stop being such a fucking coward. Tell me why. Are you tired of the sex?"

"No."

"Do you not love me anymore?" Jesus, it hurts just to ask. His voice trembles. Felix is teetering on the edge of a tearful breakdown that absolutely cannot happen.

Sylvain's eyes go wide. "No! God no, I will love you for the rest of my life," he says, and Felix knows he means it. That hurts more than the sight of him inside another man.

"Well, what is it then?"

Sylvain stumbles over his words, taking long pauses between words. Sylvain's speech has always been melodic. The moment Felix realized he was in love with him was when he realized Sylvain's words were music to him. But now his tempo is off, his rhythm shattered. "I was--I am. I am happy. With you. I am happy with you. That's... That's why."

Felix jumps to his feet, his fists clenched by his sides. "You're telling me that you cheated on me because you're __happy__ we're together?" he yells. "What kind of bullshit reasoning is that? I know you're not as much of an idiot as you pretend, so you better fucking try again."

But Sylvain just looks at him with the most empty, despondent eyes Felix has ever seen. His shoulders are slumped, and he's picking at his cuticles so badly that his thumb is starting to bleed. It makes Felix's rightful anger pour out of him.

"I don't know how to be happy, Felix." Sylvain's voice is so, so small. "I've never been happy, not like this. Not for weeks, months at a time. I don't have the right to feel this way. And you, Christ, I shouldn't get to have you in my life. You deserve better than this. You deserve better than me."

"You cheated on me so I would break up with you?" Felix asks. His voice is ice. "That's the stupidest shit I've ever heard."

"I know. You're right. But..." Sylvain sighs. He chews on his thumb. It bleeds onto his lip. "For a while, when we were together, I didn't hate myself. And then I got worried because I can't remember ever not hating myself before. And then I hated myself for getting so worked up about something so stupid, and then a cute guy at a bar smiled at me, and I thought 'Now __here__ is something I can hate myself for.' And it worked. Because I do." Sylvain laughs. It's hollow.

"You cheated on me so you could hate yourself." It's not a question this time. Sylvain nods. He doesn't look at Felix. "And what was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to feel?"

"This. You were supposed to do this."

"How was I supposed to __feel,__ Sylvain?"

Sylvain looks up at him. For this, he meets Felix's gaze. "You were supposed to hate me too."

"I have to go," Felix says. His voice is terse.

He doesn't pack a bag. He doesn't grab his toothbrush. He just turns around, grabs his keys back off the hook, and gets back into his car.

Sylvain doesn't try to stop him. That might be the worst part.

Felix barely sleeps that night. He drives around for a while. He ends up where he always does when he's not home. He talks things over with the only other people in the world who know Sylvain as well as he does. And when he's ready, when the sun has a tenuous grip on the sky, Felix drives home.

He has just enough time to lock the door behind him and toss his keys on the counter before Sylvain runs groggily into the room.

"You came back," he says. "I didn't think you'd come back." There are dark bags under Sylvain's eyes. He probably got as much sleep as Felix did.

"Did you hope I would?" Felix isn't really looking for an answer. The relief in Sylvain's voice is telling enough. But Sylvain frowns at the question. He takes a step back, suddenly worried. Felix frowns, too. "It's okay. I hoped you would still be here."

"I would never leave you," Sylvain says.

Felix stares straight into his eyes. Uncharacteristically, Sylvain looks away first. "I know," Felix relents. "But we have to talk. Let's go to the bedroom."

Sylvain opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. He nods before trudging over to the bed.

His posture is strange. Sylvain always spreads his legs like a public menace when he sits. He used to say it was to air out his junk; he has long since switched to calling the space between his legs Felix's reserved seat. But now Sylvain's legs are compact, his arms held close against his body.

Instead of taking the desk chair, Felix sits beside him on the bed. Sylvain tenses. "Are you breaking up with me now?" he asks.

Felix pretends to punch Sylvain's shoulder, his fist barely pressing against Sylvain's arm. "You're not getting rid of me that easily," he says. Sylvain lets out a breath of relief, but Felix continues.

"Listen. This is it, okay? No more second chances. If you pull this shit again, I will not forgive you. If you have an issue, we talk about it. Do you hear me? We talk. About. It."

"Okay." Sylvain looks at his hands. Felix does too. The skin around his nails is raw, the wounds new. Sylvain picks at a finger until it bleeds fresh. It's been years since Felix last saw his hands like this. Sylvain was more open with his nerves when they were kids. He stopped biting at his hands when he discovered that girls liked the way he looked.

He looks like a child now, hunched over on the bed, chewing on his fingers. Felix throws his arm around Sylvain's shoulders. Sylvain freezes like a startled deer before gingerly leaning into Felix's chest.

Sylvain speaks in a voice like bird bones: hollow, light, fragile. "Felix, I'm really scared," he says.

"So am I. Maybe that's what love is."

Sylvain chuckles. "They don't talk about it like that in the movies."

"Maybe that's what love is...for us. For now." For a minute, Felix is content to stroke Sylvain's hair in silence. Then he says, "I need you to trust me."

Sylvain jumps up out of his grasp, gesturing wildly. "I know that you would never do what I--"

He grabs Sylvain's frantic hands and holds them. Felix shakes his head. "No, I don't mean like that. I need you to trust me with your worries. With your fears. My love is a heavy thing to carry, but you hold it." He squeezes Sylvain's hands. "Your love is heavy, but you let me keep it. Let me help you with your burdens." 

Sylvain blinks. A creaky laugh belies the tears that drip down his cheeks. "When did you get so good with words?" he asks. "Did you rehearse this speech with Ingrid?"

Felix reaches out to wipe the tears away with a tender finger. "No, it was Dimitri," he says. "And shut up."

Sylvain chews on his lip. "If you were anyone else, this would have worked. But you're the stubbornest person I know. And you love me more than anyone else in the world." He presses his forehead against Felix's. "Thank you for loving me when I don't deserve it."

"You're so stupid," Felix says. "You always deserve to be loved. Even when you're being a complete asshole."

Sylvain pulls their joined hands toward his face and touches his lips to the back of Felix's hand. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"I'm sorry you hurt yourself."

"What, this?" Sylvain asks, flexing his fingers. "It's not a big deal. I've got ointments I can--"

"I didn't mean your hands. I meant your heart."

Sylvain's breath catches in his throat. "Um... It's what I'm good at? Haha." His laugh is unconvincing. Felix ignores it. He pulls Sylvain down onto the mattress so that they lie together with their arms around one another.

"Let's get some sleep," he says. "We both look like shit."

"I don't know what you're talking about. You look beautiful." Sylvain's got that wondrous look on his face, like he's looking at something special. Something miraculous. Sylvain looked at him like that the whole first month they were together. Idiot.

"Oh my god," Felix says, completely deadpan. "You're so tired, you're dreaming right now."

"I always dream of you." Sylvain tilts his head forward to kiss Felix on the mouth. His lips are soft, the kiss tender and chaste. "I really am sorry," he whispers.

"I know you are," Felix shrugs. "And I forgive you."

"I love you so much." Sylvain blinks slowly. His eyelids seem heavy. Felix's certainly are.

"I love you too," he says. And they fall asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I went from reading the prompt to having several hundred words and a title in a mere two hours. I was possessed by the spirit of this fic.
> 
> Check me out on Twitter [@bottomsylvain](https://twitter.com/bottomsylvain) to see what I'll need an exorcism for next. You can also retweet this fic [here!](https://twitter.com/bottomsylvain/status/1260318226325450752)


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